It’s easy to tell someone off with a string of profanities. But keeping it CLEAN takes creativity. Someone asked people to name their favorite insult that doesn’t include any swear words. Here are a few we liked . . .
1. There’s this Oscar Wilde quote: “Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others, whenever.” (Get it? They bring joy WHENEVER they go, everyone is happy when they leave.)
2. “If you were any simpler, you would need to be watered twice a week.”
3. “Snake mittens.” (So you’re as useless as mittens for a snake.)
4. “Thanks for helping! It was like doing it by myself, but harder.”
5. “May your days be as pleasant as you are.”
6. “I envy the people who never met you.”
7. “Well, you did your best, and that’s what’s so sad.”
8. “Wisdom is chasing him, but that man can run.”
9. “I envy the simplicity of your perspective.”
10. “We have something in common: Neither of us knows what you’re talking about.”
11. “Get well soon.”
12. “You think you’re a wit, but you’re only half way there.”
13. “You have the confidence of someone who’s never been fact-checked.”
14. “I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.”
15. “Somebody needs a diaper change.”
16. “I have neither the time, nor the crayons to explain this to you.”
17. “You’re why the Power Rangers had to yell out their colors.”
18. “Your brain has too many tabs open.”
19. Someone said, “I was put in Facebook jail years ago for calling somebody an ‘ignorant potato,’ and it’s now my favorite insult.”
20. Someone said, “I saw someone call someone else an ‘unfrosted Mini-Wheat,’ and I’ve loaded it into the hopper for future use.”
(Buzzfeed)
