Man Puts 911 Dispatcher on Hold to Buy Drugs

Police said Alejandro Melendez of Cleveland called 911 late Saturday and reported that two men with guns were watching him. Police records show he hung up, so the dispatcher called back. Read more...

The New York Times Said You Put Peas in Guacamole, and Everyone Including the President Told Them No

The "New York Times" published a recipe for "Green Pea Guacamole" yesterday morning. Yes, they want you to add PEAS to your guac for, "intense sweetness and a chunky texture." Read more...

Getting Married Makes You Chubby, Even Though You Eat Healthier

Breaking news - When you don't have to worry about finding people to have sex with, you start eating more cupcakes. A new study in Switzerland just proved something your tight pants have been telling you for a long, long time: Getting married makes you chubby. Read more...

A Senator's Phone Rang in the Middle of a Congressional Hearing . . . and His Ringtone Is "Let It Go"

A Senator's phone rang and interrupted a Congressional hearing in Washington yesterday.  And it was extra embarrassing because his ringtone is the song "Let It Go" from "Frozen". Read more...

A Guy With Two Wives Was Busted . . . Thanks to the Ice Bucket Challenge

 It's been almost a year since the ice bucket challenge, and it's STILL making the world a better place.  Not necessarily for people with ALS . . . we have no idea if it's helped them yet.  But in the meantime, it's fighting a little bit of crime. Read more...

ESPN Reporter Britt McHenry Insulted a Tow Truck Employee and Got Suspended

ESPN suspended reporter BRITT MCHENRY for one week, after video of her going off on a parking lot attendant hit the Web.  And it's easy to see why they took her off the air.  She goes full-on MEAN GIRL on her victim.  It's really kind of infuriating. Read more...

An Epic Promotional Video From Sizzler

There's a promotional video for Sizzler that's all over Facebook.  It's from 1991, and it's so cheesy it seems fake.  It's almost five minutes long, and it's filled with enough corny, patriotic clichés to fill ten campaign ads.  Read more...

A Suspicious Package Caused Evacuations in Alabama . . . But it Turned Out to be an Easter Egg

The police in Birmingham, Alabama got a report about a SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE across the street from their headquarters on Tuesday afternoon . . . so they evacuated the area and sent in the bomb squad. Read more...

A Burglar Is Caught Because of His Crocs

This REALLY serves this guy right for wearing Crocs to important events. Read more...

Top Ten Phrases You Should Stop Using at Work

A recent article on LinkedIn listed a bunch of cliché phrases people use too much at work.  You can get away with them every now and then.  But if you say them CONSTANTLY, you start annoying people.  Here are the top ten . . . Read more...

Yes or B.S.: April Fools' Pranks That Have Gotten People Arrested

It's time for "Yes or B.S."  We give you a statement, and you decide YES, it's true . . . or NO, it's total B.S.  The topic is April Fools' Day pranks that have gotten people ARRESTED.  You have to decide if these are REAL, or made up. Read more...

A Guy's Girlfriend and His Ex Both Jumped Into a River to See Who He'd Rescue

21-year-old Wu Hsia of Ningbo, China broke up with his 20-year-old girlfriend Jun Tang a few months ago.  Now he's dating 22-year-old Rong Tsao. Read more...

In the New Version of Monopoly, Boardwalk Is Replaced by Pierre, South Dakota?

Monopoly turns 80 this year, so Hasbro is putting out a new version this fall where all the property spaces are American cities.  They've done it before, but everything is being updated. Read more...

Will You Skip Out on Work, the Gym, and Family Time to Watch March Madness?

If you have a bunch of coworkers mysteriously out 'sick' right now, don't worry . . . they just want to watch basketball! Read more...

What Will Your Body Do This Year?

Give us your best guess, how many times do you pass gas each day? Well, including the time you're asleep, the average is 15 times a day. If you do the math, that's 5,475 times a year. Read more...

21% of People Will Buy Their Pet a Valentine's Day Present

Look, my dog DESERVES a Valentine's Day gift, and other people agree with me. Read more...

Kenny G is at Least Partly Responsible for the Starbucks Frappuccino

As you jumpstart your day this morning by gulping down that Starbucks Frappuccino, know this:  You have KENNY G to thank for it. Read more...

A Weather Map Said the Temperature Was Over 2,000 Degrees . . . So the Weatherman Just Went With It

We're not sure if this was a glitch, or someone punched in the wrong numbers.  But on Tuesday night, the weather map for a local news station in Phoenix said the temperature in some parts of Arizona was up over TWO THOUSAND degrees. Read more...

A Guy Buries His Dead Cat . . . Only to Have Him Show Up Alive Five Days Later

 The Internet is obsessed with both zombies and cats.  So by that standard, we've just found the next biggest Internet celebrity. Read more...

GoDaddy.com Did a Brilliant "Lost Puppy" Ad to Mock Budweiser, But Animal Lovers Freaked Out

GoDaddy.com released a BRILLIANT Super Bowl ad yesterday mocking those Budweiser "puppy" commercials.  But animal lovers absolutely LOST IT, so it's been pulled. Read more...

A Guy Brags on Facebook About His 16 Warrants . . . and Is Immediately Arrested

 I'm not sure I'll EVER get sick of idiots who brag about their crimes on Facebook, then get arrested as a result.  Millennial criminals are the best. Read more...

A Guy Takes a Polygraph Test to Become a Cop . . . and Accidentally Reveals He's a Sex Offender

I thought the worst thing that could happen in a job interview was not getting the job . . . and maybe embarrassing yourself in the process. But 29-year-old Joseph White of Hartstown, Pennsylvania just set the bar WAY higher. Read more...

A Guy Driving in the Carpool Lane Was Pulled Over With Two Other People in the Car . . . Who He'd Kidnapped

This is one of the better excuses to drive in the carpool lane we've heard . . . and also the most fitting way possible for this guy to get caught. Read more...

You Can Pay $35,000 to Find a Baby Name No Other Baby Has

Parents today are on a never-ending quest to find a UNIQUE baby name . . . even getting to the point where they're finding ways to spell Kevin with a "q."  Quevin . . . Queevin . . . Kequin . . . you get the point. Read more...

A Bank Robber Is Busted When He Stops During His Getaway For Some Chicken and Biscuits

This is a terrible endorsement for this guy's bank robbery skills . . . but a hell of an endorsement for the deliciousness of chicken. Read more...