Bill & Connie's Blog!

It's a pacifier...so suck it!!

Posted By: Connie Wray · 10/11/2011 12:38:00 PM

Help!! It’s binky break-up time and I’m scared. Story is 19 months old and she still has a binky. I’ve ready article after article about when to take it away. Some say “As soon as possible” others say “At age 2 its time to pull the plug” while others say I’m the devil for even letting her have a pacifier. Who’s right? I really don’t know. But what I do know is I don’t want unsolicited advice! If I don’t know you please just walk on by, I don’t need your words of encouragement or your snide remarks. Guess what?! She’s my baby!!

Of course, I don’t want her to be sucking on a binky when she heads into kindergarten!! But she is only 19 months!! I’ve got a ways to go before school starts.  I actually got into an argument with one lady in the Steinmart! She was shocked to see her sucking away. “Oh, look at you, cutie. Still sucking on a pacifier? Mommy should know better than that! You’re a big girl” Are you kidding me?

That’s ok, I think I slammed her when I told her “No, she isn’t 2 1/2 years old, she’s 19 months!!” Story is a big girl. I’m tall, Big B is tall. I’ve got me a big kid!! But size shouldn’t matter (at least when it comes to the size of a baby) what I decide to do with my child is my choice.

But here is where I struggle, is it really my choice? Society and other mothers sure frown upon the binky. Do I just do it my way? Or do I give into the societal pressures? Pull her off the plug now. If I did it now, sure the looks would stop but it’s not about me! It’s about Story.

How about this, you crazy lady, BACK OFF!!  If I take it away too soon, she could wind up sucking her thumb until she’s 12!! Are you going to pay for the braces she may need later on?  Or if I make it taste bad (an actual suggestion on babycenter.com) would you think I was abusing my child because I made it taste like dirt?

One thing I’ve learned in the short time that I’ve been a parent is this: she’s MY child. I know what’s best for her! I know what works for us! I don’t like that she uses the binky either, but she’s only 19 months!! She does have rules with it. If she tries to talk with it in, we insist she takes it out, which she does. Bedtime and riding in the car are when she wants it most. So its not like she’s sucking all day, everyday!!  Why was she sucking on it at Steinmart you ask? Because she is teething. It feels good to suck and chew on it. That day, she was teething hard!! So I let her have it! SUE ME!

Sure, it would be nice to have a solid answer to this binky dilemma. But from the 9 million articles I’ve read, every child is different. I’m going to stick with our plan, doing it OUR WAY! But, if you promise not to make me feel like the terrible swamp thing, I’m open to suggestions….  

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  1. RyanD posted on 10/11/2011 01:00 PM
    I may not be a mom but I do have some things to say about this. My son was giving one last binky and one day while out for a walk he threw it as kids are known to do. I dind't notice so we couldn't find it. But I also would not buy him another one. My girlfriend and I took her son's Binky away. He was only using it at night (which I suggest making that happen first. This way they are less attached to it.). After about two weeks of only needing it at night we took it away. Yes he cried for a long time the first couple nights but he did adjust. Now we are Binky Free.
  2. JennaG posted on 10/11/2011 01:05 PM
    Do what you feel is right for you and Story! Sod everyone else!
    My son had one until he was 21/2, and then the Easter Bunny magically came and took it away and left a chocolate egg in it's place. I think they are just that little bit older so you can reason/bribe them:)
  3. KathyK_2 posted on 10/11/2011 01:12 PM
    Hi Connie, Just to let you know you should do it in your own time, especially her time. My daughter, who is now a beautiful 16 year old, had a binky until she was 4. At 4 she was a big girl and we had a special celabration to throw it away. Until then she used it at night, in the car and sometimes when she played at home. It is no one elses business what you guys do. Enjoy your time together, it goes really fast.
    Kathy
  4. LauraB_2496 posted on 10/11/2011 07:34 PM
    My son was almost 2 1/2 years old when his binky was sent to live with the moon and stars. We attached it to a helium balloon and had a "Bon Voyage" moment. It worked really well because he remembered letting the balloon go and would swear he could see it among the stars at night! Of course we'd have to bid it "Good Night" before bed by peeking out the window for a couple of weeks, but he thought of it less and less and it was a pretty clean break.
  5. Mi AhL posted on 10/11/2011 08:46 PM
    Not gonna lie...although, my daughter didn't have issues with a binky, she was extremely attached to her bottle and a blanket for quite a long time. She is now 7 and still has her blanket but it's only for her own sense of comfort and ONLY at home.
    I see nothing wrong with the whole blanket thing. It's something they call their own and it's not causing harm to anyone else. I say let her keep the blanket. My daughter is a confident and very well adjusted little girl with lots of friends. We did however, had to break the bottle habit. All I did was one day while she was not looking, cut the tips of the bottle nipple off, waited until she asked for a bottle and made one for her like it was any other day. She goes to take a drink out of it and starts sucking it. But she stopped and just looked at it as if there was something wrong with it ( of course there was something wrong with it...I cut the dang thing!). She comes to me and tells me in her little toddler way that there is something wrong with the bottle. I look and tell her "Uh oh, I think your bottle is broken!" Then, I say, "Do you know what that means? It means that you are done with the bottle for good and have to move to the big girl sippy cup!" She stood there for about good 15 seconds then she said this, " OK, time to throw it away!~~~" That was it! I swear! Right there, she wanted me to gett all her bottles so she can throw them away herself and she even turned the dial to the compactor to make sure it was done for good! Whether this will work for Story when the time comes...I don't know. But it may be something you might want to keep in the back of your mind. Also, she's only 19 months old. People should just mind their own bees!!! I just think as her parents you and Big B will know when to say enough! :)
  6. AmberN posted on 10/12/2011 09:47 AM
    My daughter is 22 months old..she still likes her binky. she usually gets it as a soother, she is not allowed to play and have the binky...she gets it in the car, when she is "sleepy" and when she is hurt, and asks for it. We dont automatically give it to her. I worry about the teeth being screwy, and hunting for the binky surely sucks..we have back ups but they all manage to hide somewhere at the worst possible moment lol.
    We pretty much agreed, second birthday, we will slow down if not completely stop. we dont want it to go to that point, she is already using the big potty pretty regularly, so it seems like a good time to lose the binky.
    Connie, what works for your family, works for your family, and no one should have anything to say, (unless its a doctor or dentist you pay to give you healthful advice for your child)
  7. CarrieF posted on 10/13/2011 07:37 AM
    I feel so bad for you :( I am the mother of triplets and I will tell you that people are stupid and say the craziest things. What I hated most was that they said these crazy things in front of my children. I used harnesses when I took them out for shopping,etc. It was a safety issue. I had someone scream out of a car "Nice. Walk them like a bunch of dogs". That idiot would have been the firs to say I was a bad parent if they got ran over by a car in a parking lot. I had people ask me if they (the kids) were real. That was a "nice" way of asking if I did fertility. I have been asked if I did those drugs... my reply... "no, I do them now". I had a quad stroller and had people ask if I lost a baby. People are nuts. Everyone has their own way of raising their children. Sideline quarterbacking is not appreciated. That being said, I have two suggestions for getting ready of binkies. 1. Just quit cold turkey. That's what our pediatrician had us do. It usually is the parent that ends up being more reliant on it than the kid. 2. My sister has the binky fairy come and take them and leaves a small present in return. Good luck!
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