A Man is Hospitalized With Severe Burns After Trying to Light Fireworks Out of His Butt Crack
7/31/2012

It's not your imagination, people might ACTUALLY be GETTING DUMBER. On Saturday night, a 23-year-old man outside of Darwin, Australia decided to shove a few firecrackers into his butt crack, then lit them. And as you'd expect, things went wrong and he was severely burned all over his buttocks AND genitalia.
(It's very fitting that it happened in Darwin, because CHARLES DARWIN basically predicted that guys like this would blow themselves up and remove themselves from the gene pool.)
The local hospital is planning to fly him to a bigger hospital to handle his burns. And it gets worse for him, he lives in a part of Australia where it's illegal to set off fireworks, so he could get hit with a fine.
(New Zealand Herald)